Update

Sorry I've not been around much at the moment. I'm going through a really hard time. Those of you on my facebook will know that Mike and I have broken up. After 5 years of living together it's been really tough on me. My emotions are all over the place I'm so close to having a full blown relapse into my eating disorder that it's a bit scary. I don't want to end up in hospital over it.. Stop reading here if you are in recovery from an eating disorder or don't like brutally honest rants about being crazy/depressing rambles!

I felt kind of ok about things the other day. Ok we had broken up and I felt awful but I signed up for a half marathon (not the one he proposed to me at ha!) and thought well I need to train, that will keep me wanting to eat. Well it worked to an extent. I made a pretty healthy meal, full of veg, balanced, something I felt ok with. Got upset about something, made myself sick and then started drinking. I don't feel like I know how to get out of this even though I have before but my life was going so well when I recovered before. It's so difficult. An eating disorder is so hard to beat and it seemed to come back so quickly. I ran 5 miles the other day at a not too awful pace... It's gone down though and the last mile was sloooooooow, I haven't been running 'cause I haven't been eating enough. Ughhhhhhhh I don't know what to do about stuff...... So that's it, my running is going down the pan, I probably won't PR at the half marathon I've signed up for, that's if I even make it round and I'm struggling to eat right. I don't even know whether I should post this or not but I've always kept it real on the blog before so I'll keep it real now. I'm thinking trying to start boxing again would be a good plan, I'm just not sure which club to go to, decisions, decisions!

Anyway. I should have some more upbeat posts coming soon! I have my alpro vitality review and next week is National Get Grilling Week and I'm being sent a George Foreman and some food and recipes for it which I'm really looking forward to trying out. Just a shame I will be eating them by myself instead of with Mike, he would have loved this blog perk! :-( I'll have to rope in some friends instead, I'm sure they won't be too disappointed!

So, that's it really... I hope you guys have all had better weeks than me!!

A Few Workouts

I'm really quite late posting this one, I'm sorry to be so sporadic at the moment, my life is a bit crazy right now. I know I'm always cryptic but the things causing me upset and problems involve other people and it's not really fair to be blogging about it - bear with me and hope it's over soon!

Anyway... this workout was done 2 days after the hill race and I experienced dead legs in a way I never have before. It was so incredibly frustrating not being able to punch with any force!

I did one round of pad work 3 minutes non-stop combinations, I love how tired this gets me! My punching remained strong in this round...

Then 10 rounds of 1 minute on, 1 minute off on the bag.. this is when I really started to feel my legs go and got so frustrated that even though I was putting my all into it my punches just weren't being executed with any power! This must be so bad when it happens in a fight or in sparring, I've heard people talk about the effect on your punching when your leg strength has gone but my legs have always held up for me!

After this I did 2 rounds of this circuit 20s on each station with a 1min rest in between rounds..

• Shrugs (2 x 10kg)
• Push-ups
• Star Jumps
  
• Rows (2 x 10kg)
  
• Dips
• High knee DB press (2 x 2.5kg)
• Lunges
• Punches (2 x 2.5k g)
• Mountain Climbers
• V-ups
• Push-press (2 x 10kg)
• Leg raises
• Burpees
  

On Tuesday I went out for a poorly fuelled run... I managed just over 3 miles with a break in the middle to dry heave at the side of the road. Not good. My body is not happy and I need to try and give it better nourishment. I went out yesterday and stocked up on wholefoods and 'safe' foods in the hope of upping my calories. I've also started logging them on the Alpro soya vitality app on facebook I've often shied away from such things thinking when I'm eating 'normally' they can be a bit of a trigger but at the moment it's helping me to realise how little I'm eating at the moment and how much I need to make an improvement... Anyway, check it out, I'll be properly reviewing it once I've used it a bit longer.. It looks like a great free resource for people wanting to watch their weight or just be a bit more aware of what they're eating on a day to day basis. It also includes stuff like time spent with family which is pretty cool as it takes into account the fact that health and vitality isn't just about nutrition and exercise.

Well I've just managed some breakfast and ate fairly well yesterday in comparison to previous days so I'm hoping to head out for a better run soon... as I said in my last post I've signed up for a few races so it's time to get things in order!