Sorry I've not been around much at the moment. I'm going through a really hard time. Those of you on my facebook will know that Mike and I have broken up. After 5 years of living together it's been really tough on me. My emotions are all over the place I'm so close to having a full blown relapse into my eating disorder that it's a bit scary. I don't want to end up in hospital over it.. Stop reading here if you are in recovery from an eating disorder or don't like brutally honest rants about being crazy/depressing rambles!
I felt kind of ok about things the other day. Ok we had broken up and I felt awful but I signed up for a half marathon (not the one he proposed to me at ha!) and thought well I need to train, that will keep me wanting to eat. Well it worked to an extent. I made a pretty healthy meal, full of veg, balanced, something I felt ok with. Got upset about something, made myself sick and then started drinking. I don't feel like I know how to get out of this even though I have before but my life was going so well when I recovered before. It's so difficult. An eating disorder is so hard to beat and it seemed to come back so quickly. I ran 5 miles the other day at a not too awful pace... It's gone down though and the last mile was sloooooooow, I haven't been running 'cause I haven't been eating enough. Ughhhhhhhh I don't know what to do about stuff...... So that's it, my running is going down the pan, I probably won't PR at the half marathon I've signed up for, that's if I even make it round and I'm struggling to eat right. I don't even know whether I should post this or not but I've always kept it real on the blog before so I'll keep it real now. I'm thinking trying to start boxing again would be a good plan, I'm just not sure which club to go to, decisions, decisions!
Anyway. I should have some more upbeat posts coming soon! I have my alpro vitality review and next week is National Get Grilling Week and I'm being sent a George Foreman and some food and recipes for it which I'm really looking forward to trying out. Just a shame I will be eating them by myself instead of with Mike, he would have loved this blog perk! :-( I'll have to rope in some friends instead, I'm sure they won't be too disappointed!
So, that's it really... I hope you guys have all had better weeks than me!!
Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie
2 days ago